The Red Blogs

Ad of the Week ... whats the worse that can happen.....

2009-04-24T10:15:00.002+01:00

Needs no introduction or explanation .... watch, laugh then go buy (the zero one of course!). Drink and Enjoy.

Some people say Dr Pepper tastes a bit like cough syrup and is one of those drinks that you're never really sure you like. Oddly enough thinking it might be yukky doesn't ever seem to stop you having another one. A bit like husbands (as someone once said).

I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper,
She's a Pepper, we're a Pepper,
Would not you like to be a Pepper, too?
Be a Pepper ~ Drink Dr Pepper.

(and someone was paid to come up with that! I wonders if they's a pepper too?)

"Cry 'God for Harry, England and Saint George!'"

2009-04-23T11:27:00.006+01:00

Great battle cry, great film ...... joking ....

A snippet of did you know information courtesy of the Headcheese this morning was that the lance with which St George slew the dragon was called Ascalon, so named after the city of Ashkelon in Israel.

I love a good story!

Be proud and have a happy St Georges Day!

And the clever stupid balance hangs …..

2009-04-23T10:02:00.002+01:00

A mix between car, motorcycle, and spaceship, the BMW Clever concept car is a three-wheeled vehicle designed to be manoeuvrable and environmentally friendly. Running on natural gas, the Clever can move at speeds up to 50 mph while consuming an impressive "188 miles per gallon" — an estimated equivalent to regular fuel. At only 3 feet wide (I think this means you could get at least 5 in a single garage, there's usful) the vehicle can carry two people, with the passenger sitting directly behind the driver. What makes the vehicle stable despite the three-wheeled design is its unique tilting mechanism that leans the passenger compartment into the turn, like a motorcycle, up to 45°. It also has the benefit of looking much cooler than a Hummer while not creating its own Rhode Island-sized hole in the ozone layer every time you take it to the supermarket. It isn't known if the Clever will ever be produced for consumers. A bit pointless then maybe?

Three wheels (like a wheel barrow ) tilting, a space ship that has none and can't and with a back seat driver to boot which by the way it doesn't seem to have and running on something I don't think you can buy, question is would you?

Saint Hubbins

2009-04-22T15:50:00.006+01:00

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.

David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.

Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?

David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.

Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?

David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

This being so Saint Hubbins must look fondly upon The Art Company who quite simply make the so most funkiest footwear known to men, women, postmen and ….. and saints. We are rather liking the Bio range but just can’t choose, oh which would Saint Hubbins bless …?

(with thanks to the This is Spinal Tap script for the mostly memorable quote)

B'ad of the week

2009-03-13T09:30:00.000Z

Seen the Mattessons smoked pork sausage advert yet? Everytime I see it and even when I don't because I've screwed my eyes shut but can still hear Mr toe curling man, I cringe.

There are a number of ads using this ‘tongue, or even sausage, in cheek’ sexy voiced blokey speaky part at the mo, Mattessons have given us a great example of getting it wrong unlike More Than who’ve got it so right with their TV ad currently being aired drawing our attention to sock insurance.

So you can keep your sausage which doesn’t look that appetizing anyway, bad advert or not, I wouldn’t want it near me in any shape, slice or form in other words I know I don't want it .... not ever!

Watch the b'ad of the week
here

Club soda not seals

2009-03-11T09:30:00.002Z

During Canada's annual war on seals, hundreds of thousands of baby seals are killed for their skin in the most horrific ways imaginable. Seals stand no chance against club-wielding trappers who are after their fur, and they must look on as fellow pups are bludgeoned to death before meeting the same bloody fate.

Sign the petition here
and help end the Canadian seal slaughter.

These words are for spreading

2009-03-09T09:30:00.000Z

Blatantly stolen, copied and pasted as it were from Chris Cardell who emails me his words of wisdom every so often, this latest offering from him is so relevant to the here and now in business that it’d be wrong to keep them to myself …. A wise chappie is Mr Cardell, wiser than Mr Wise from Wiseville.

Here you go …….

One of my favourite quotes is from Calvin Coolidge, the 30th President of the USA:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”

And never was he more right than now, when in the middle of the worst economy in living memory, when conditions are dire enough to lead to talk of the Great Depression of the 1930s, business owners are battening down the hatches and just waiting to "ride out" the storm.

Waiting for this to end will kill your business. It will be a long, painful wait. It’s as simple as that. You have to be proactive and that proactivity will be driven by persistence.

Yet you'll notice if you look around you, there are some businesses which are not only "getting by" in these difficult times but are actually growing. I have members of my Platinum personal consulting group who can’t cope with the number of leads coming into their business. All those who do well share the same characteristic: "persistence".

There's no doubt about it: Recession is here and we're in the middle of it. And every day the media is showing you the worst of the worst. This can effect how you feel, day to day. The solution? A commitment to persistence.

And no one is pretending it's easy. It takes a certain mettle to keep your doors open when business is hard to get. It's tempting to give in, and let it all fall apart. That's the easy way out though.

But you can be smart about it. Because YOU know all the marketing tips, strategies, and techniques I've shared with you... and you know they work. YOU know how business is a matter of finding out what people want rather than what they need, and then giving it to them.

You KNOW price is not an issue and it's all about value. You KNOW how to do all this.

You know that if you turn your website into a lead-generation website rather than a ‘sales’ site you can improve your results by hundreds of per cent.
Yet it takes courage and fortitude to "do it all" when everyone else is doing the opposite. It's hard to plug away with your marketing when everyone else is cutting back.

But, right now, this recession DOES represent a grand opportunity to anyone prepared to stand firm against fear, uncertainty and doubt. Advertising costs are at an all-time low, and all your competitors will have slashed their budgets and be running scared.
Your customers still have money and most still want what you have to sell... if only you can go that extra distance to show them the value in what you offer.
I’m not talking about positive thinking. We’re backing this up with solid, advanced Marketing and Internet Marketing strategies. But the thing that’s going to get you to IMPLEMENT these strategies when everyone else is moaning is persistence. It always pays off. Eventually when you hit that "sweet spot" in your marketing, you'll find you've cracked it – and your business with grow and grow, regardless of the economy.

Ad of the Week ... it never rains it pours

2009-02-19T09:30:00.000Z

Ad of the week as picked by the Headcheese is this

Why (and in the Headcheeses own words)? Because it is simple and effective, takes seconds rather than a minute to get the message across. Not bad from a chap who has a liking for Frosted Wheats ahem!

On a personal note I like the way he holds his laptop with his knees ...

B'ad of the week

2009-02-18T09:30:00.000Z

This weeks award goes to Sacla

We dislike it alot because it's irritating ..... we've had to stop eating pesto, not hard for the headcheese because he hates it anyway

Art of Noise at one end of the scale this ad at the other, we are not surprised he lives on his own and the only reason for watching is in the hope that he cuts his hand off.

A sweet new bride for Bertie

2009-02-16T09:30:00.000Z

This story is not an early April Fools joke, I wish it was ......
Bertie Bassett is celebrating his 80th birthday after marking the landmark by getting hitched to his new "sweetheart".
Bassett's gave more than 60 workers at its Sheffield factory time off to attend the ceremony, which saw the famous Liquorice Allsorts character tie the knot with his new bride, Betty.
Betty is the face of Bassett's new Red Liquorice Allsorts and is the first new character to be introduced by the firm in 80 years.
Factory manager Shaun Wagstaff, who was Bertie's best man, said: "Bertie's been a big hit since he stepped into our lives back in 1929 swinging that liquorice cane and charming the ladies.
"I've only known him for eight of those years but it's good to see old Bertie finally settle down - he certainly looked extra sweet for his big day."
Two other factory workers, Craig Hitchen and David Golland, were ushers and Emma and Kayla Owen - daughters of staff member Tyana Owen - were Betty's bridesmaids.
Bassett's marketing director Martin Driver said: "Betty has already won a place in Bertie's heart but we're expecting her to be a big hit with the public too. We're confident that Bertie fans will approve of his new bride and wish them both the very best."
Bassett's said its Red Liquorice Allsorts contain red liquorice and replace its Fruit Allsorts.
The firm, which is owned by Cadbury Schweppes, first started making sweets in Sheffield in 1842. It said Liquorice Allsorts came about by accident in 1899 when salesman Charlie Thompson tripped up, mixing all the different sweets he was carrying.
Bassett's makes 14 million Allsorts a day at its Sheffield plant. Obviously they didn't make quite as many on Berties wedding day.

Ad of the Week ... We've gone guerrilla .....

2009-02-12T09:30:00.001Z

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Yes I know it's not an advert as such but it's very clever and as a bonus there's not a drum playing animal to boot .... or any eyebrows!

www.bloguerrilla.it An unconventional blog to talk about Street, Ambient, Ambush, Viral, Buzz and Guerrilla Marketing ..... we like it lots.

Ad of the Week ... feel phenomenal.....

2009-02-04T09:30:00.001Z

My ad of the week has to go to the the latest offering from those canny chaps at Irn Bru.
Haven't a clue if the ad was / is successful as it was probably only on display in Scotland where its the alternative national drink and not just for tee-totalers and the under 18's either, in fact anyone who's ever read a Rebus book will not be a complete stranger to how important a role Irn Bru has at breakfast ... mmm each to their own!

For balance here's the company blurb ...
How would you describe the essence of a flavour that only two people in the world know? One that is such a closely guarded secret that it is held under lock and key in a vault in Switzerland? A taste so precious, so unique that it is our chairman Robin Barr, and he alone, who blends the unique combination of 32 flavours that can be savoured in every sip? There is only one word to describe it.
Phenomenal.

There you go. So go and de-tox your mouth with a can of IRN-BRU immediately ..... yes that means you Mr Red Bull drinker!

Pic of the week

2009-02-03T09:30:00.001Z

What is there not to like .....

Oh deer, we have some snow

2009-02-02T09:34:00.002Z

Ah yes it’s snowing, we must have at least a couple of inches of it and sure enough the UK is grinding to a juddering halt.

I do smile! My friends in Canada can’t stop laughing, I think the picture kind of explains why.

Pic of the week

2009-01-30T09:30:00.000Z

Why? Because we like it!

B'ad of the week

2009-01-29T11:41:00.000Z

Cadburys ......
Cadburys
Oh Cadburys .....

Sorry, yet another ad I can't stand from, yep you've guessed it, Cadburys. It does / says / means absolutely nothing. It's not cute, funny nor watchable. Weight Watchers and others in the diet industry will love it!

On the otherhand I for one have started to eat Galaxy.

It's enough to make you say "Mr Cadbury bring back the monkey" then again thinking about it please don't.

Ad of the Week ... Veggie Love .....

2009-01-28T11:25:00.004Z

The ad of the week goes to PETA's ad—which features a bevy of beauties who are powerless to resist the temptation of veggie love.

This advert was deemed too hot for the Super Bowl.
Apparently, NBC has something against girls who love their veggies! After PETA submitted their proposed Super Bowl ad, which features a comely crop of models demonstrating their fondness for fresh produce, NBC nixed the ad, saying it "depicts a level of sexuality exceeding our standards." No joke, this is straight from NBC—so stop fondling your fruit salad right now and read the list of shots NBC requested PETA cut before they’d reconsider:

licking pumpkin
touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli
pumpkin from behind between legs
rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin
screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)
asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina
licking eggplant
rubbing asparagus on breast

Whoa there! The Headcheese is starting to blush and so am I and I’ve seen the ad! Think the bods at NBC have got fantastic imaginations ….. whey hey job done!

p.s. pumpkins are currently out of season and the only asparagus available in Tesco is from Peru (think airmiles people!) however root veg are blooming!

Every little helps

2008-09-23T10:21:00.003+01:00

Browsing through the advertising slogan hall of fame (the best in branding websites apparently but sadly not updated since 2003) it was interesting to see how many famous? slogans were still making the rounds today. The top 10 of said year were as follows
“Reach out and touch someone.” AT&T
“Vorsprung durch technik.” Audi
“Ah, Bisto!” Bisto
“The quicker picker-upper.” Bounty
“A little dab'll do ya.” Brylcreem
“Have it your way.” Burger King
“Where do you want to go today?” Microsoft
“It's Miller time!” Miller
“It's everywhere you want to be.” Visa
“Drivers wanted.” Volkswagen

Errrr we recognised a few shall we say, so 2003 wasn't a hugely memorable year for ad slogans methinks.

Is now wondering how long the current offerings will stay in the brain ……. I give you
“get the London look”
“because you’re worth it”
“zoom zoom”
“lick the lid of life”

Now this lot aren’t just slogans they are over priced laughable not worth remembering slogans – however before scoffing too loudly I think it would be kind to remember that those little dittys cost someone a huge wad of cash …….. When will that clever dumb balance ever be restored?

Watch the Heinz Deli Mayo sweet cheeks

2008-06-23T12:34:00.002+01:00

Seen the Tv ad for Heinz Deli Mayo yet? If you’ve not yet seen it there’s a fair chance you’ve read about it and the uproar it’s currently causing, why? It shows two men kissing that’s why – quell horror it’s the end of civilisation as we know it!

With 175 complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority so far, the Heinz Deli Mayo TV ad is already on track to be one of the most complained-about ads of the year. This is the ad agency AMV BBDO's first work for the brand and I have to say we love it!

Some complainants said the ad was "offensive" and that it is "inappropriate to see two men kissing".

That aside its warming to know that only 175 people don’t ‘get’ what the ad’s about and hello, we’re not talking full on snog with tongues here in fact it could be deemed as less offensive than seeing your parents plant a smacker on each other …… is off to call the headcheese sweet cheeks thus sensing complaint number 176 coming.

Beans on toast anyone?

2008-06-23T12:30:00.002+01:00

Sir Paul McCartney has called on Britons to adopt “meat-free Mondays” to cut carbon emissions. The former Beatle said cutting out meat one day a week was popular in Australia, where shoppers had become conscious of the environmental impact of cattle rearing and meat production.

Sir Paul, a long-term vegetarian, said he was encouraged by the lead set by the UN on the issue. “One of the most significant conclusions of the recent report on climate change was that we should eat less meat. This is not the Vegetarian Society that said that. It’s the UN.”

Most of us at The Red Works will find this meat free malarky easy on any day ending in a y …… the headcheese on the other hand (he who thinks that without a certain quota of dead animal in his system means sudden death) might need a bit of (not so)gentle persuasion. There are times when bullying is an acceptable practise isn’t there?

B'ad of the week!

2008-06-12T10:25:00.000+01:00

The minute this advert starts you just know (yawn) it’s an advert (yawn) for a car – totally bored now with this format so for that reason it gets the b’ad of the week award.

We rather love the car though but in a thoroughly misguided way, 10 miles to the gallon maybe 12 we’re guessing …… is measuring carbon footprint with a small ruler.

Win a picnic blanket (like the one in the Waitrose TV advert – only smaller)

2008-06-11T08:43:00.003+01:00

There are 30 picnic blankets to be won, and the closing date for the competition is 12th July 2008. Enter here

join (RED) now!

2008-06-04T09:22:00.004+01:00

Do the (Red) thing, half the profits from your purchases of Gap (Product) Red support the global funds fight against HIV/AIDS in Africa.

Get Registe(red)

Hey, nice tie!!

2008-06-03T22:09:00.003+01:00

Cruising the local businesses for mighty fine competitions worth entering we have ourselves a winner.

Ah yes or even Ah so, Paw Paw, rumoured to be, and who are we to argue, the finest Chinese restaurants in the Midlands are this week running a hoot of a competition with the winner scooping a meal worth £50 just in time for Fathers Day ...... all you have to do is make an origami tie – took the headcheese less than 5 minutes to make his so it can't be difficult! Register here to enter.

Ad of the week .....

2008-01-30T09:46:00.000Z

Be as Irresistible as Chocolate with Lynx Dark Temptation.

How refreshing …….

Lets face it, most men if they were made of chocolate would eat themselves so it makes a pleasant change to see it being shared among us very obviously not-on-a-diet and quite silly girlies. In fact this Lynx advert very nearly became the b’ad of the week but after a fairly democratic vote I was out numbered so ad of the week it is.

However, Fiona most certainly is and will remain so on a diet.

Thats just plane silly

2007-12-06T11:52:00.000Z

Every year since 1988 Tate Britain has commissioned a leading contemporary artist to design its Christmas Tree …. we eagerly await it’s unveiling each year, albeit for differing reasons but eagerly await we do.

This year Tate Britain has commissioned Fiona Banner to create its Christmas tree, a 30ft Nordic tree which Banner has decorated with 123 handmade kit models of fighter planes that are currently in service, anywhere in the world.

In previous years some of us have had to pretend to understand trees with hanging broken plates, a rather large bare tree (I’m sorry but it resembled a big dead twig) a fake tree surrounded by shelving units which very nearly outdid 1994’s offering of ‘something’ kind of tree shaped, wrapped in canvas and velvet ….. Are you now grasping why we wait with our breath held? Not only do our jaws drop but the ‘arty meanings’ bring tears to the eyes …… roll on 2008, my moneys already on models of polar bears and ice caps made from recycled McDonalds burger boxes as they’re partly to blame for, well, everything.

Failing that, a really famous artist will buy a tree, saw it in half and describe it as symbolically representing the breaking of the Christmas spirit as seen from a beaver’s perspective….. Now that’s art for you.

Oh Christmas Tree Oh! No! Christmas Tree

2007-12-04T11:52:00.000Z

Incredibly some people might not yet realise that in December there’s this Christmas type festive malarkey which demands that we bring trees indoors to prevent them from hibernating.

After seeing the Last Minute Instant Christmas Tree advertised I can only assume that this integral prop can somehow be forgotten. Well ok, if you’re an extra terrestrial this may be possible but to think that there are some families so caught up in the gift buying madness that when Christmas Eve arrives their pennys drop and it dawns that there’s chuff all to stash said pressies under …… who knows, the mind boggles.

Anyway all need not be lost, you can now buy (for an obscene amount of money, so its helpful here to be thick and wealthy, thick and poor is not an option) an instant, ready in under 5 minutes, Christmas tree …. Ta-da!

As the blurb says
“Unlike most pre lit trees that require some styling to achieve their optimal shape, this 7 1/2' pre lit tree comes in four hinged sections which, when put together, instantly assume the form of a fully shaped Christmas tree, allowing you to begin decorating within five minutes”.

I think I can instantly assume the personality and form of the purchasers …..

Arial is so not Helvetica

2007-11-30T09:15:00.000Z

Helvetica encompasses the worlds of design, advertising, psychology, and communication and now someone’s made a film about it, if a film about a font can be called a film (there was no plot, no love interest, no one got shot, mauled or even looted) …… the headcheese found it very interesting which he would being a font geek … to the rest of us being only mere mortals it went on a bit but don’t let that put you off …. No don’t, really, it was actually quite er fascinating?

About the film
Helvetica is a feature-length independent film about typography, graphic design and global visual culture. It looks at the proliferation of one typeface (which will celebrate its 50th birthday in 2007) as part of a larger conversation about the way type affects our lives. The film is an exploration of urban spaces in major cities and the type that inhabits them, and a fluid discussion with renowned designers about their work, the creative process, and the choices and aesthetics behind their use of type.

Enjoy!

Tengu: Mountain Goblin or Electronic Gizmo?

2007-11-27T08:54:00.001Z

Working on your PC can sometimes be a lonely experience. Well, not anymore, because now you can get yourself a new buddy in the form of Tengu! He's (though he might be a she...) a USB-powered gadget that lights up and lip-syncs to music, or your voice, or whatever noise happens to be banging around at the time. Tengu has seven different facial expressions, and when there's no sounds to lip-sync to, he'll simply nod off. As soon as he detects some noise, he'll wake up and lip-sync along to it. Tengu is a fun little object that guarantees to raise a smile as he lip-syncs along to your favorite songs which is something a mountain goblin might not be too chuffed to do.

And the chances of that happening….?

2007-11-19T09:00:00.000Z

Insurance, a dull subject and lets be honest most adverts telling us why we should have insurance are fairly dull too. However, that cannot be said of these offerings which even though don’t have me grabbing the phone demanding my cover be upped just in case my wheels fall off at least gave me a good laugh.

And the chances of choking and not dying while laughing at a silly commercial? 0.0000001% which now worries me.

Aroused an interest?

2007-11-16T10:09:00.000Z

So asked the advertisement in our local newspaper. Be warned, a stampede could be happening in Banbury tomorrow caused by a semi-naked blokey ‘modelling’ everything from pants upwards in Henrys of Banbury’s shop window.

How exciting.

I wonder if it’ll be Dave from the oily Dolce & Gabbana ads ……?

Too swoon too swoon

2007-10-31T08:39:00.000Z

We all need something to dream of and or drool over …. Brad Pitt could fill that gap but not really, well maybe briefly for a nano second until a bar of chocolate was spotted.

No I’m talking huge drools with a smattering of wishful thinking chucked in for good measure and frankly there is only one ‘thing’ fitting that criteria currently and that is most definitely without question the Audi R8 .... unlike McDonalds we are so loving it

Ad of the week .....I'm lovin' it

2007-10-29T09:08:00.000Z

This weeks ad of the week has to be this offering from the god-awful hellhole that is McMurder oops sorry … McDonalds

The only reason this ad got through our tremendously tricky selection process is because it’s just too funny for words …… but we still wouldn’t eat there, well, when I say we I’m excluding the headcheese as he’s rather partial to all things whoppa and flame grilled…

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

2007-10-23T12:55:00.000+01:00

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Google Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armoured no complaints r us space station with enough power to destroy an entire browser.

All is not well in the headcheeses world … it would appear that the google death star doesn’t have a complaints department … and, as the headcheese has three complaints to make, this snippet of information oozed at him down the phone this morning from some Greedo wannabie has not helped. “You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship” I think the reply was, and most fortunate at that point that the headcheese could understand the ancient language of Huttese.

Now is it through arrogance or just plain naughtiness that google feels it can operate this way? I don’t know, it’s not me getting in a tizzy over it …. But for an organisation to hide behind an anonymous email only webmaster (who doesn’t even respond to an email) is all a bit naff …..

Now some may find my lack of faith in all things google disturbing but, be warned, I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home so there ….. and to the google droids I say this …Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed; the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

I never met a chocolate I didn't like ....

2007-10-22T21:38:00.000+01:00

The World Wide Web is a many splendid thing ….. And absolutely brimming with chocolate cake recipes, amazing what you can blackle for when you’re supposed to be working but, in fairness, it was market research of sorts …. I was planning on making one and I did.

I took all the recipes best bits and just added more chocolate, brilliant! Great idea! Anyway I’m not sure if I should hang my head in shame or applaud my cake making skills because after eating some (well it was quite a bit actually) my 4 year old tried repeatedly to walk on her bath water and my 9 year old starting speaking backwards … at least that’s how his babble sounded …… “You used too much chocolate” growled the headcheese happily for he too had had a couple of slices …… there’s something to be said about this baking malarkey and when my brain stops buzzing I’ll write it down …. Anyone wanting the recipe be warned it carry’s a health warning.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is someone having a laugh!

2007-10-22T14:26:00.000+01:00

Not being from these parts I have often thought that one or two of the locals could possibly be alien life forms ….. This argument has been raised just ever so slightly thanks to a little bit of video footage showing UFO’s, apparently ….. Could these whizzy little lights really be space ships dropping off a few more human doppelgangers by Banbury Cross? – see for yourself Personally speaking the jury’s still out, looking for more UFO’s most probably

P.S To even get a glimpse of the milenium falcon or whatever it is put the media player up to full screen .....

Remote controlled poopascoopa or Self screwing jam jar ... you decide...

2007-10-19T09:00:00.000+01:00

I read the following extract in our local paper and can only applaud any attempt to encourage and support new business development in Banbury …. Not sure I like the opening line of the article, after all I’ve had plenty of killer ideas but always thought best to keep quiet about them for obvious legal reasons and not wanting to tip my ex off to my dark killer thoughts …. Anyway it read thus …

PEOPLE with a killer idea or must-have product are again being urged to put themselves forward for Banburyshire's answer to Dragons' Den.

The Banbury Innovation Award 2007 was launched on September 24, giving budding entrepreneurs the green light to start sending entries in.

Like the BBC2 reality show, short listed applicants have to pitch their ideas in front of a panel of judges for the chance of winning cash and support.

Applicants need to submit an application form and 250 words describing their idea for a successful business before the deadline on November 24.

From this, a shortlist will be drawn up who will then be asked to pitch their ideas in front of a panel of judges. The winner will receive £500 cash and a selection of services including an office worth £2,500, media consultation, accountancy advice and legal support.

Anyone who wants more information should call Business Link on 01844 210430

Hang onto your hats the Fair has arrived ...

2007-10-18T14:13:00.000+01:00

The Banbury Michaelmas Fair is a 'Chartered' street fair held each year in the centre of Banbury usually during the second or third week in October. The carousels, rides and stalls provide entertainment and thrills for thousands of Banbury folk and visitors and is the town's largest street event in the year says the council blurb …… yep I’m thrilled about having to take out a second mortgage to pay for a handful of rides ..... not for me you understand, the headcheese only worries himself if I start to spin at a certain speed, but for the kiddie winks who just have to go or they'll throw up.…..., now there's a threat that works ....

On a far better or fair note (pun most definitely intended), all those brave enough to well, brave it, counterbalance the churning experience by eating at PawPaw …. an oasis of calm and you’ll be met and treated with smiles, fantastic customer service, darn good food and pleasantness all round. Its all very wok & roll!

Alot of Whoosh and only a bit of Blah ...

2007-10-16T10:28:00.000+01:00

Oh it’s that time of the year again …… The Christmas shopping panic was booked in and ready to roll around the start to middle of December as is the norm but no, a little ray of hope arrived in my inbox the other day from one of my favourite shops in the form of

Whoosh & Blah Announces

Whoosh and Blah has changed hands and is now owned and run by Nathalie and Sean Bamber. The business will be run as a family concern and will continue to sell contemporary stylish gifts with personal service second to none.

We will be introducing some new lines over the coming weeks and months offering style and contemporary gifts to your satisfaction.

Yes yes, all very interesting BUT this is the bit that caught my eye, long overdue and a delight to my shopping stress levels ……

The on-line store is due to be launched in the next 4 weeks and we look forward to offering a range of fantastic gifts to you via the web. We will notify you the day we launch.

Then, just as I thought this can’t get much better it went and did just that ….. A reward??

Your Reward

As a valued customer and Gorgeous Gang member we would like to reward you with a special offer valid to the end of October 2007.

To get your 10% off voucher simply register on their website and then shop till drop alas, and this is their only bit of blah, the voucher will expire before their shop is online... sigh, no points from us lazys for that one ....

It’s good to share …….

Advertising as a career choice....?

2007-09-06T09:29:00.000+01:00

Think again ...

From the mouths of babes the reasons not to

Porsche-ing for a free car.....!

2007-09-04T11:56:00.000+01:00

Having checked the stats of my blog I noticed that yesterdays post featuring a porsche and a mars bar was viewed by the lovely Porsche Information peeps ..... given that they are obviously a bit quick off the mark to view anything with a porsche label I can only assume that they'll be taking a look-see at this very shortly .... so .... can I please have a freebie porsche (red if possible) pleeeeeeeeease, with all the extras and delivered to my office as soon as you like!!

Porsche vs Mars

2007-09-03T13:31:00.000+01:00

Extra energy that will push you further or so they say ..... great ad though!

Blowin' in the wind ...

2007-08-24T09:36:00.000+01:00

I don’t often give an ad of the week however …. E-on, (clever chaps who are building wind farms off the coast, hurrah I say!) are currently running a television campaign to raise awareness of well, them obviously ….

Now I haven’t taken too much notice of the ad (or so I thought) but, on seeing something blow over in the garden what tune instantly popped into my mind but the one accompanying their slightly irritating after you’ve heard it a few times commercial …. Mmmm seems to be working then!

copyright or copywrong...?

2007-08-23T11:05:00.000+01:00

The dull old subject of copyright filled our office last week … the headcheese got mightily cross because some low life had nicked one of his graphics ….and rightly so. It took two dipped flakes to calm him and one can of red bull to clear the red mist that seemed to be hanging like fog round his desk.

Its usually better and so much more polite to ask methinks.

To covert is to sneeze

2007-08-22T15:56:00.000+01:00

Sarah Jessica Parkers perfume advert gets this week’s award of b’ad of the week. The reason? (Do I really need one?) well, the advert borders on nonsense, no one would ever wear red shoes with that outfit, secondly her eyes are way too close together to be trusted and thirdly I’ve smelt the perfume … however as far as adverts go it’s a general all round 20 second piece of drivel.

Nuff said

Green and black but it’s not chocolate

2007-08-06T15:18:00.000+01:00

Is heavily promoting the use of blackle.com in the office at the moment as the version of google to use. Why? Because it’s greener that’s why, actually its black but never mind. Blackle has a black screen which unlike its white counterpart (at 79 watts) consumes only 59 watts thus saving 30k of electricity a day – I love the way all these figures get thrown up but anyway it sounds good …… use it!

Meet Dave....

2007-07-23T15:38:00.000+01:00

Now jokes abound about Essex girls but Essex boys? Well…… things could soon change. In my b’ad of the week I introduce to you Dave who really is from Essex and who, to some, namely Essex girls, looks hot!

This Dolce Gabbana advert is my b’ad of the week because of Dave ….. just seeing him slide on up the boat (there is a great deal of body oil involved I think) wearing the wrong size and white (urgh) trollies brings out my squeamish side – if anyone has bought Dolce Gabbana aftershave on the back of this advert I would love to meet them (or would I?) just to poke fun at their, well, silliness!

Its getting otter

2007-07-11T12:32:00.000+01:00

Now there’s sweet and then there’s so sweet it gives you a sugar rush ….. this video clip could (and rightly so) be accused of bringing forth the latter.

For those not in the otter know how as we are (being members of the IOSF helps) otters in the wild tend to wrap themselves in kelp (seaweed) when they sleep so’s they don’t float away waking up off the coast of China. In an aquarium where this footage was filmed there is not an ounce of kelp so instinctively they hold onto what or whoever when having 40 winks – still makes for a total ahhhhh experience though.

B'ad of the week

2007-07-10T16:34:00.000+01:00

This was such an easy decision to make. The Halifax have fed us, the viewing public, with this drivel for too long I say, and this particular ad (called think, well I ‘think’ it’s awful!!)has me changing channels quicker than I change my mind - I just can’t stand it, and, when oh when did it become ok to sing completely off key? I throw that question over to Hillary Clinton ........

Try before you eat

2007-07-05T13:34:00.000+01:00

I have been told off - by the Headcheese no less, for taking bites out of his chocolates then putting them back into the box if I didn’t like them …… I’m sorry I don’t see anything wrong with this but apparently it’s a very bad thing to do indeed.

And anyway they’re quite big chocolates so may be I couldn’t eat a whole one …….. sigh, I consider myself reprimanded, well I will after I’ve stopped laughing

B'ad(s) of the week

2007-07-05T09:36:00.000+01:00

Wanted to offer up a Mercedes ad for my b’ad of the week but was ‘told’ to find one that didn’t involve a car ….. Pity because I can’t stand this particular ad but never mind - on the note of everything with engines though, has everyone seen the new Audi R8 oh toot toot it’s rather nice.

So the b’ad of the week this week is this offering from Gillette Fusion …… every time the headcheese sees it all he can say is “I don’t believe she has any medical / scientific training” so they’re getting the title for being mis-leading and silly, that Merc ad is very awful though – I’ll see your ad and bin it……….

Chocolate can cure everything

2007-07-04T09:43:00.000+01:00

Having spent time and hard cash creating a creatively inspiring ambience in our office I have come to realise that it was all a waste of time …… apparently its copious amounts of sugar that floats designers’ boats, how do I know this? Well it might have something to do with the headcheese (head in hands) asking no one and everyone how he was supposed to be creative without ……chocolate.

As if by magic a box of choccys arrived in the post from a very lovely person ….. Headcheese now happy and creative – the rest of us relieved and getting fatter. Thank you Sarah.

Beer anyone?

2007-06-21T20:53:00.000+01:00

Put the car in for a service today and was given a Golf as a courtesy car…..very nice, but why does it have a bottle opener? (With its own special little place between the front seats no less). All very merry for me the passenger but an odd extra all the same and, why does the car lock itself as your driving…. Freaky and feeling just a bit like a low budget horror movie – there’s something not quite right about a car that locks you in….on its own….without being asked….questions to the headcheese like “how would we get out if you crashed?” and “they’d need the fire brigade with cutting gear wouldn’t they?” were very much met with an icy glare and stony silence….. But then there was a child (a panicking one by now) in the back…… I used to want a Golf……..

Silliness of the week

2007-06-14T14:54:00.000+01:00

This is an extract from our local newspapers web (or is that webb) site ……..

Millilon Pixel Page
Becoming part of our Pixel Homepage is a fun and funk way to get your site promoted on the web
And remember the webb is live 24hrs a day every day of the year

What can I say, it makes me look grammatically perfect and what a relief, I always thought the test card kicked in at midnight – what peace of mind I now have knowing that the ‘webb’ is live 24/7 and is a millilion more or less than a trililion?

Plain silly!

B'ad of the week

2007-06-13T10:39:00.000+01:00

Has nominations for my really bad ad of the week coming out of my ears, not surprisingly most are car adverts that lets face it either get it really right or horribly wrong …..anyway after much deliberation Fiat wins hands down with this offering and, before anyone comments that this advert is quite fun and funky, yes I know but, the fundamental flaw of this advert is the fact that the l’il cars drive through water, everybody but anybody knows that if you even show a Fiat water it won’t start – misinformation this week is b’ad. And as for remixing the Italian job, words fail me, I await the revenge of the mini

Day Spa’s

2007-06-08T10:00:00.000+01:00

Indulgent pampering is usually the main oh so dull tag line of day spa adverts, however… a soap massage? Is failing to see what’s so indulgent about lying on a marble slab getting something akin to a bed bath.

And, can anyone please explain what on earth “dry” floatation is because it sounds very skin chapping to me, and, there’s never enough alcohol.

Don’t think me and day spas were made for each other.

The truth in ad sales

2007-06-07T12:50:00.000+01:00

Absolutely shameless, but with an awful ring of truth about it……. the truth in advertising sales should make a few people cringe (er....mike)

B'ad of the week

2007-06-06T09:45:00.000+01:00

A truly awful advert which speaks for itself…….I always used to like Volvo ...........

Red

2007-06-05T10:00:00.000+01:00

Is it

Powerful? Motivational? Energetic?

For anyone wanting to learn about the psychology of colour in an apparently contemporary setting they should hot foot it to the Colour & Networking Seminar that’s taking place at The Core business centre on June 27th.

Experience how forARTthou uses colour to enhance performance in the working environment of The Core and how you and your staff can benefit from the power of colour.

Could be interesting, and worth a visit if only to discover why the head cheese always responds negatively to lime green.

For more info go to http://www.forartthou.com/red.html

I really can wait for July 1st

2007-06-04T09:30:00.000+01:00

Many great events have happened on July 1st – please note that when I say great I mean horrifically big and not fantastic, although fantastic doesn’t necessarily mean groovy, anyway I digress, with an impressive list of ‘happenings’ for this date I’m impressed (and I don’t mean that in an ‘impressed’ way as I’m being sarcastic) that this years English entry will be to ban smoking in public places ……….. This, I think, will only lead to displays of public crankiness that I will need a cigarette to recover from, bring back the bike sheds I say!

For examples of slightly more interesting happenings from July 1st over the years I give you:

Battle of Gettysburg
Battle of the Boyne as reckoned under Julian calendar.
First day on the Somme: On the first day of the Battle of the Somme 20,000 soldiers of the British Army are killed and 40,000 wounded.
Communist Party of China was founded.
World War II: First Battle of El Alamein.
Independence of Somalia.
Independence of Rwanda.
Independence of Burundi.
ZIP Codes are introduced for United States mail.
The British Government admits that former diplomat Kim Philby had worked as a Soviet agent.
The Beatles release She Loves You as a single in the United Kingdom.
Andreas Baader, Jan-Carl Raspe and Holger Meins of the Red Army Faction are captured in Frankfurt after a shootout with the police.
First Gay Pride march in England
Sony introduces the Walkman.
Excavation begins on the Channel Tunnel.
The date the head cheese got married to what kanye would describe as a 'gold digga', the head cheese however uses stronger words than that, the whole miserable experience thankfully didn't last too long.
The People's Republic of China resumes sovereignty over the city-state of Hong Kong, ending 156 years of British colonial rule.
The Scottish Parliament is officially opened by Queen Elizabeth on the day powers are officially transferred from the old Scottish Office in London to the new devolved Scottish Executive in Edinburgh. And lots of haggis was eaten.
In Hong Kong, 500,000 people march to protest a new anti-subversion law.
In Hong Kong, 530,000 people march to urge a faster pace of democratisation and universal suffrage.

Google takes big step to make Web work offline

2007-06-01T10:09:00.000+01:00

Google Inc. said Wednesday (May 30) it had created Web software that runs both online, and offline, marking a sea change for the Internet industry by letting users work on planes, trains, spotty connections and even in the most remote locations.

The technology, called Google Gears, would allow users of computers, phones and other devices to manipulate Web services like e-mail, online calendars or news readers whether online, intermittently connected to the Web or completely offline.

read more....

This Weeks Must Read at some point, when you have time.......

2007-05-31T20:44:00.000+01:00

Recommended read of the week has got to be The Jelly Effect, written extremely entertainingly by Andy Bounds.

I have learnt to establish big fish from wellie boots and can now convey every request to the head cheese in very few words and still get my message well and truly across. Before absorbing the wise words within this book, my presentations contained more jelly than a kids tea party, now I am thankfully jelly free!

I am therefore happy to plug

Does your website really work.....?

2007-05-27T09:35:00.000+01:00

I got really hacked off with all things web the other day – I tried for 5 hours to plan and book a trip to Disneyland – I failed. Now in this age of all things available online I got really fed up of re-entering the same details into the same websites, getting ‘timed out’ after 3 seconds (the mighty Disneyland site is guilty as charged) and even worse, enquiring about Disney and getting info on a 2 week holidays in Alicante, more than once.

After wasting an incredible amount of time I got all old fashioned and picked the phone up – so the lesson to be learnt here is that if you have a website please make it at the very least usable.

Sleeplessness could be a thing of the past

2007-05-22T10:00:00.000+01:00

Is a great fan of all things Audi however; the new advert for the extremely scrummy A5 albeit mesmerising, is guilty of sending me into a coma induced sleep. No I’m not exaggerating I actually nodded off. Anyone with sleep issues should play it on a loop for an instant cure.

What does a graphic artist do when he/she gets bored

2007-05-16T11:33:00.000+01:00

A question indeed – well in this office boredom is not an option, I was caught twiddling my thumbs once…………couldn’t hitch a ride now if I tried, anyway I don’t think this clip was inspired or made out of boredom what it does display clearly is the frustrations of those oh so creative types who occasionally feel the need to just have a blow out, trust me I should know……..
So to see the results of a graphic artists 'blow out' click here and be prepared to see some mighty fine examples of "oh I'm so bored what can I do??? I know I'll turn pandas into Kiss" graphic design.

What is graphic design?

2007-05-15T10:15:00.000+01:00

This sums it up really - very clever and a credit to whoever put it together.

Ad of the week

2007-05-14T09:15:00.000+01:00

I was struggling to find my ad of the week being swamped with nominations for really B’ad (bad ad for those not of this wave length) of the week. For this award I'm unable to choose between the new offering from those usually spot on chaps from Honda (swimming in honey?? I demand to see it!) and, on a local level, the seedy lap dancing club where apparently “men come first” – oh dear oh dear.

But all is not lost, a gem I have found, so I'm delighted to award this weeks ad of the week to this

I wonder how much notice I have to give

2007-05-03T11:48:00.000+01:00

The Times today lists the 50 wonders of the world that are a must see before you pop your clogs – I thought I was fairly well travelled till I saw that various Mediterranean beaches didn’t really feature on said list ……. and I don’t think I have to travel to Patagonia to se a glacier when sticking my head in the freezer reveals about the same amount of ice, and I wouldn’t want to hang around there either.
Anyway, obviously now feeling that I need to travel more I suggested a pay rise to the headcheese to make all this travel viable – he put a £10 note on my desk and told me to go buy myself a dress……..Thinks I need to remind Mr cheese that by not entering into my whim of fancy he risks spending his next holiday very close to the freezer indeed….oh yes I could shift the peas over and make room

Cammed up

2007-04-27T14:15:00.000+01:00

In addition to grizzly bear cam (which, now the bears have woken up, has 5, yes 5 cameras watching their every move) and africam, the watering hole sensation that is (both of which I admit to watching daily if only to watch the headcheese get irritated with all the African bush sounds coming over the speakers, sadly bears are quite quiet), wavelit (the company behind it all) have added woodycam and eaglecam to their already well strung bow.

What a delight it is to hear the monotonous tap tap tapping tappy noise of a woodpecker coming through on surround sound – it really does hurt the headcheeses head after 20 minutes or so and you do end up feeling for the tree. As for eaglecam, if being perched very high up in a tree somewhere near Vancouver is your thing, it makes fantastic viewing if only to see what the weathers doing………. It makes our birdie box look very small time.

http://www.wavelit.com

Brainstorm question of the week "How can we get every Monday morning off work?"

2007-04-26T09:58:00.000+01:00

Brainstorming……. I think everyone would agree that as a way of generating ideas, setting goals solving problems there are few better ways. So to read on a.n. others web site that

a) I should let people write on the walls if a flip chart isn’t available or is full to busting and b) give them biscuits to keep energy levels up - I say this, biscuits maybe (the headcheese after all does function rather well if stuffed full of Oreos) but writing on my mood enhancing coloured walls (while nibbling my biscuits!!) – I don’t think so, in fact I challenge anyone to write on my walls and I’ll show them a flip chart with intent…….

Polar bear cub Knut receives death threat

2007-04-21T10:17:00.000+01:00

I’m not sure if I find this amusing or not but the headcheese claims he heard me laugh at least twice so ok I may have had a chuckle but it is quite mad, who would write a death threat to a polar bear? The prime suspect has got to be the glacier mint fox out for a bit of publicity….. read on

Germany’s celebrity polar bear cub Knut has received an anonymous death threat, causing alarm at Berlin Zoo on Thursday and prompting heightened security.
Top-selling Bild newspaper said the zoo had received a hand-written fax (oh its not Mr Fox then) from a suspected animal hater with the words: "Knut is dead! Thursday midday."
But that deadline came and went safely for media star (eh?) Knut, who has been on newspaper front pages around Germany and the world for weeks. "He is safe and in good spirits," said zoo official Ragnar Kuehne after the time had passed. (good spirits…..?)
Berlin Zoo’s business manager Gerald Uhlich said: "They (the police) told us prominent figures often have things like this happen but in this instance we need not be too worried."
Nonetheless, Bild said the zoo had trebled the number of minders responsible for Knut’s safety to 15.
"Death threat, police protection for Knut!" Bild wrote in bold letters on page one above a picture of the sad-looking polar bear cub peering out from behind a tree branch.
As Knut appeared for one of his public appearance on Thursday, about twelve minders in orange jackets and carrying walkie-talkies patrolled the area around his enclosure to keep a close eye on the cub and the crowd of fans.
Just an hour before the death threat expired, an unperturbed Knut rolled around on the ground with his bearded keeper Thomas Doerflein and, as usual, chewed his fingers. (in an attempt to eat him most like!!)
Knut, who now has his own brand, won global attention after questions were raised about hand-rearing polar bears. Some animal rights campaigners were interpreted as calling for him to be put down rather than raised by humans.
Doerflein has slept in Knut’s cage, played with him and fed him porridge since the cub’s mother rejected him at birth. Because theres lots of porridge at the North Pole isn’t there.

This blog is sexy

2007-04-20T09:29:00.000+01:00

Is getting really fed up with adverts that describe their products as ‘sexy’ – for those who have nothing better to do count how many times you hear this over the course of a day via radio and TV – frankly having garden furniture that just got sexy, a sexy mobile phone or sexy mascara is cheapening the word sexy when used in the descriptive – if, for example the headcheese referred to me as sexy, is it because I remind him of his deckchair???

It’s naff and lazy and an insult to us consumers…….

On the flip side the makers of Lambrini (a sexy fizzy wine!) have been told by the ASA to tone down their ‘sexy’ television ad by using balding, overweight and middle aged men as opposed to a slim young ‘tiger’…….is wondering if sales will plunge or rise.

Every slogan has a story

2007-04-12T11:36:00.000+01:00

Slogans………
In his book, Creative Advertising, Charles L. Whittier says a slogan:

"...should be a statement of such merit about a product or service that it is worthy of continuous repetition in advertising, is worthwhile for the public to remember, and is phrased in such a way that the public is likely to remember it."

How wise, and how true, for every time I hear Vorsprung durch technik and, even though I’m not sure what it means, I instinctively think of Audi.

Some that just don’t do it for me, “Pepsi the choice of a new generation” sounds like Nazi propaganda and Sofa Kings - "Our prices are Sofa King low!" but then that at least made me giggle.

Slogans, dodgy things, can make or break a great advertising idea. Naturally all of mine are superb.

Visit http://www.sloganizer.net/en/ if you need a laugh, I typed in headcheese and got thrown the following natty dittys (no I do not have time on my hands!)
The headcheese, created by nature - Nobody does it like the headcheese - It's not a dream, the headcheese is real!

It’s the simple things in life

2007-04-05T10:31:00.000+01:00

Whereas I certainly have never witnessed an i-pod licking incident I’m sad to report that Mr Jones from Cincinnati has (has seen as opposed to has done thankfully) – Anyway, in his email he kind of explained the circumstances that surrounded such craziness, oh you wacky American types - footnote Mr Jones is Welsh!! Yes it's good to share.

However, did the headcheese make all the coffees yesterday? Did I achieve my goal? Well yes I did! In fact so much coffee was being supplied I thought I was going to get caffeine poisoning.

Success is sometimes impossible to measure but I estimate a couple of pints.

You know a design is good when you want to lick it..

2007-04-04T10:11:00.000+01:00

Have finished absorbing my book of the week, Life’s a Pitch, without a shadow of doubt a very clever book, but its truer title should be “how to be a manipulative sod and get what you want”.

Held together with some very funny anecdotes, spot on observations and incredibly good advice I can recommend it as a jolly good light read.

As for the advice it freely gives, I am armed with an A3 pad, lots of pencils and is currently working on a ‘strategy’ which should see the headcheese ‘wanting’ to make every cup of coffee today……..I have a cunning plan and am radiating confidence!!

And as for Steve Jobs saying you know a design is good when you want to lick it – I have never, not ever, seen anyone lick their i-pod. So isn’t really sure about that one Steve……

The day the callers came a-calling

2007-03-30T10:28:00.000+01:00

Having just completed some branding and design work for these chaps think I’d better do my bit to promote just how fab they are.

Shouted (is hoping that’s the hip way to say ‘spoken highly of’) by Vernon Kay and others at Radio 1 their newly released CD is ‘respected’ equally by the headcheese and my 15 year old son which is something that’s not been achieved since the last time hell froze over ………

Rock on boys!!

For an earful go to www.myspace.com/thecallersuk

Dog Performs 'Heimlich' on Choking Owner

2007-03-29T10:07:00.000+01:00

I found this story on the strange and fantastic website that is http://www.davesdaily.com/ now I’m not convinced that the title shouldn’t read ‘Dog sees his chance, seizes the moment and beats up his owner’ but then that’s just me.

Toby, a 2-year-old golden retriever, saw his owner choking on a piece of fruit and began jumping up and down on the woman's chest. The dog's owner believes the dog was trying to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and saved her life.

Debbie Parkhurst, was eating an apple when a piece lodged in her throat. She attempted to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on herself but it didn't work. After she began beating on her chest, she said Toby noticed and got involved.

"The next think I know, Toby's up on his hind feet and he's got his front paws on my shoulders," she recalled. "He pushed me to the ground, and once I was on my back, he began jumping up and down on my chest."

That's when the apple dislodged and Toby started licking her face to keep her from passing out, she said. (a gutted Toby on seeing apple instead of chicken then tried to drown her with saliva)

"I literally have paw print-shaped bruises on my chest. I'm still a little hoarse, but otherwise, I'm OK," Parkhurst said.

"The doctor said I probably wouldn’t be here without Toby," said Parkhurst, a jewellery artist. "I keep looking at him and saying 'You’re amazing.'

Don't you just love the internet!

This weeks ‘I must read’

2007-03-28T11:40:00.000+01:00

Life's a Pitch
by Roger Mavity and Stephen Bayley

The pitch is the absolute essence of modern business. Ideas are the most valuable commodity in the modern economy and it is human skill which develops them. However the skills of the pitch are not only relevant to the world of business, rather they apply to just about every significant personal transaction in your life...

Life's a Pitch is the ultimate how-to book - a mixture of mechanics and magic. Apparently, nothing like it has been written before (though I’m sure this could be argued by Richard Denny). A mixture of mentoring, graphics, anthropology, market research and modern Machiavellianism, this book will prepare you for success. So whether at a sales conference in corporate conference room hell or over lunch, Life's a Pitch tells you how to handle human transactions. A pitch is not a meeting; it's a drama (all my pitches have more drama then a Jane Austen epic!). A pitch is not about transferring information, it's about transferring power. It is business, but it is also theatre. And the results of a successful pitch are - quite simply but rather persuasively - money and power.

Part inspirational manual for business, part guidebook to a successful and happy social life, Life's a Pitch is written as the result of an accumulated half century of (mostly successful) pitching by the authors. Ground-breaking and genre-busting, it will transform the way you think about the art of persuasion for ever.

I find Chinese burns quite persuading….

A unique opportunity to have your film broadcast worldwide!

2007-03-27T20:22:00.000+01:00

Win a day\'s shoot with the Country Channel Team AND have your winning film broadcast on Country Channel TV!

Visit www.countrychannel.tv and click on Film-Makers for more information and entry form.

Anyone who films Orkney Pinks in their natural habitat should let me know, I hear “you tube” is crying out for legitimate pics.

Look everyone I'm a moblogger aka a twit

2007-03-22T08:32:00.000Z

Oh yes, an update on my current investigation into the weird and wacky world of moblogs and mobloggers (look everyone I’m sat on a bench!)…… I have discovered that Girls Aloud (oh yes) have a moblog. And how do I know? Distressingly I caught the headcheese looking at it, boy did he get some stick! Says it all really, still don't want one.

For those who know where the headcheese is coming from take your sounds of the underground and go jump

Just to be trendy I would like everyone to know I'm sat at my desk. I've just finished typing and now I'm going to have a coffee. Strike that I'm still typing ....this is a great way to look like a complete saddo.

Find your passion follow your path fulfil your purpose

2007-03-21T10:23:00.000Z

Now that’s what I call a mantra ……..... Is meeting a life coach tomorrow not, I hasten to add, in a professional sense (saying that I would probably benefit enormously if I did), but for other reasons that have absolutely no bearing on this blog – anyway just the thought of meeting someone who must be totally organised, absolutely brimming with life enthusiasm and so focused (bi-focal focused) that they’ll never need specs is quite disconcerting for me who is only just organised, has very few life goals (other than getting a mini convertible before the good weather arrives, in red of course) and who can’t really focus much on anything before 10 and then only after numerous coffees.

I think I’ve just identified an absolute and dire need for a spot of life coaching ……oh dear.

http://www.lesleyreader.co.uk/

Welcome to the Country Channel

2007-03-14T11:00:00.000Z

Enjoy a variety of programmes from Farming, Lifestyle, Wildlife and Animals, Recreation, Equestrian and Country Sports

Chipping Norton-based television producer Paul Aitken has launched an internet-based channel focusing on the countryside, countrychannel.tv

Passionate about reconnecting people with the Earth, Paul hopes to touch people's hearts with subjects covered on the free to view Multi-channel web TV broadcast service channel, which is already attracting viewers from over 100 countries worldwide.

Enjoy a variety of programmes from Farming, Lifestyle, Wildlife and Animals, Recreation, Equestrian and Country Sports – all appearing refreshingly free of those awful countryside alliance idiots.

I for one can recommend the pea-harvesting broadcast, after 2 minutes you could have heard a pin or pea for that matter, drop in the office....... can't wait to catch the ferret racing.

The Pink Works...?

2007-03-13T19:07:00.000Z

This story just isn’t going away …….. And for some reason has attracted a lot of interest so in the spirit of public information here’s an update on the Orkney Pink Rabbits.
They are not naturally pink, sorry but you’d have to be Mr Simple of Simplesville not to know that one. Hands up who thought they were …… oh dear!

Anyway a spokeswoman for the British rabbit council said “the Orkney pink is not a recognised breed – they have just been fed food that has turned them pink” (source the Liverpool Echo).

Now hang on just a minute, just been fed something that has turned them pink? Like what? Pink smarties, pink champagne, should us as consumers be concerned, could I turn pink by over gorging on beetroot (don’t mock its easy to do!) or what?

I really do think that the “food substance”, hey lets call it dye, should be made public knowledge if only in the interest of health and safety…… I for one do not want a pink cat, child or headcheese (now that would be funny if not down right radical, I really must find out what this clever food is,! Ho I could have amusement for life!!)

I had a quote from Peter Rabbit - it’s unprintable.

Moblog – can anyone explain why?

2007-03-13T08:37:00.000Z

Have toyed with and frankly have resorted to kick around the idea of putting my finger in the pie that is a moblog but, and here’s the sticking point, the jury’s still out on whether it’s erm, well, pretty sad (and I don’t mean in an unhappy way neither) or not.

I looked at a few and concluded that the 'mobloggers' who really believe that I care if they're sat on a train, on the sofa, in the pub, under a bus…..(I’m so obviously not getting it) must be fairly self obsessed at the very least, totally narcissistic at worst. Methinks I need to research this further.

See twitters.com or just er....twit for reference.

This is my ad of the week......pause not (thanks Borat)

2007-03-10T09:20:00.000Z

I don’t have a current ad of the week because watching television has been a luxury that I’ve failed to achieve for the last week or so – have managed to watch Borat the movie and that’s all. I’ve got to say though for a film that is as cringingly bad as that awful Kia ad it, at least, had humour, in fact it changed my outlook on a number of issues, America for one.

But all is not lost there is something I think anyone living in or around Oxford should do and that is go see the Heavenly Artists Exhibition at Heavenly Bodies Day Spa
30 March – 8 May.

The first heavenly artist to exhibit is the incredibly gifted Peronel Barnes whose paintings remind me of home – beautiful seascapes, remote landscapes truly thought and mood provoking. Just beautiful.

The headcheese gets a new nose

2007-03-02T08:30:00.000Z

Headcheese still quite grumpy after having his nose (surgically!!) broken. The whistling noise he now makes when breathing is quite a distraction that admittedly started off as quite sweet but now is frankly irritating.

I have noticed however, that when he says to people that he’s had his nose broken and before he mentions the word rhinoplasty (think thats the right word) for some reason (and goodness knows why) everyone looks at me as if I had something to do with it, this too started off as being quite amusing but now has me wondering is this a good or bad thing?

So for the record, much as I would like to take the credit for this “physical assault” on the headcheese (that’s the bad thing) I can’t (which is the good thing) but, I did stand on his hand a few weeks ago thus causing a bit of bruising to his digits for which I am guilty as charged – what he was doing on the floor at the time is another story!

Compliments and jam for breakfast

2007-03-01T09:36:00.000Z

You know you’ve got your website right when the competition blatantly copies it which is what one of our competitors appears to have done (sort of).

Anyone looking around The Red Works website will know that the images we use are a play on our company name (kind of a brand reinforcement thing going on) and being part of the creative industry we aim to use images that are eye catching but still relevant to who and what we are.

The amount of calls and emails we get from people complimenting how our website looks is fantastic but from our competitors? Oh what a toasty sorry tasty compliment to get – nice one chaps but not very original.

Fair Trade Fortnight

2007-02-26T09:44:00.000Z

Fair Trade fortnight starts today, a great excuse, if you need one, to buy copious amounts of Green & Black's chocolate.

In fact on a health note according to the very clever ‘what I don’t know about my products you could write on a fish oil capsule’ medicine man at Holland & Barrett, eating a bar of G&B dark chocolate every day is very good for you, helping with sleep(?), depression and all sorts……… I said that if I ate a bar of chocolate everyday thus putting on weight that would make me depressed but no apparently this wouldn’t happen because, wait for it, the dark chocolate isn’t fattening.

Is liking this quite mad theory, in fact I can work with it. Bring it on!

Girls Worldwide say “world thinking day”

2007-02-22T09:00:00.000Z

Ah yes, admittedly I am just a tad too old to be part of the Girl Guide and Scout movement but, when it comes to good causes from one of the most inoffensive organisations going, one can only applaud and support them.

So check out their website, post your message, then DONATE!

“Discover your potential by taking the lead, growing friendships, and speaking out.”
Dib Dib

Ad of the week

2007-02-21T08:55:00.000Z

Big thanks to the clever chaps at tellyads – saw a car ad last week which I thought was fantastic, couldn’t remember the make/model of the car though so from a ‘does it work’ angle it probably doesn’t – anyway emailed said telly ad bods and hey presto they found it for me (thanks Jon). Sit back and enjoy

Footnote: Nissan named its new European model after the Qashqai people. The designers believe that the buyers "will be nomadic in nature too".The new unconventional name was however met with surprise and even skepticism.

Whats up Doc

2007-02-20T09:00:00.000Z

Incredible (and very wrong) it may seem but you can now buy pink rabbits - unbelievable, yes, but a true story all the same. An Orkney Pink rabbit (bred in Cheshire and not on the Orkneys) can be yours for just under £700 with £250 needed up front for the ‘breeding processes’.

A quote from Fridays Daily Record reads “A convicted conman is behind a bizarre scheme to flog pink rabbits at up to £700 a time. The Orkney Celebrity Pink Rabbits were described as the latest must-have pets for the stars. But the Daily Record can reveal that David McHugh, who took part in a multi-million pound insurance swindle, originally set up the business. There are also doubts about the rabbits - and how they came to be pink. McHugh, who has a house in Eday, Orkney, claimed it was down to "a formula and cross-breeding".

“Yes Dr Frankenfurter-McHugh, you can buy Nice ‘n’ Easy in a number of cerise shades”

Now a rabbit can not, nor should it ever, have naturally (or un-naturally) pink fur, so for any idiot out there who parts with £700 for a dyed bunny (rumour has it that Jordan’s bought 2 – slippers?) for £20 you could have bought a white rabbit and a packet of (washable & non toxic) felt tip pens. No more cry’s of “I’m bored” from the children oh no! Get the kids to colour the rabbit in every day perhaps in different colours to enhance your mood or match your dinner service, who knows, who cares.

I once put large green splodges in this way on a friends black and white cat before sending it home – you could hear the scream for miles……

Anyway I can’t find their website which I am quietly pleased about – it raised a heated debate in our office though on whether we would have created a website for a company such as the pink rabbit laboratory, I won by repeatedly saying no louder than anyone else speaking – is all for democracy.

Birdie Box update

2007-02-19T09:20:00.000Z

Obviously wanting to practise what I preach I duly bought and erected a birdie box at the weekend. Was surprised, nay astonished, at the range of birdie boxes available. I always thought it was ‘one box to suit them all’ but I was wrong.
So after mush deliberation I chose a birdie box for wrens which I have to say was the perfect choice – within a couple of hours two wrens were ‘checking it out’ and bingo I’ve now got birdie squatters in my garden.Even the head cheese looked interested / impressed for a nano second as did the cat

National Nest Box Week 14th – 21st February 07

2007-02-12T14:15:00.000Z

The aim of National Nest Box Week is to encourage everyone to put up nest boxes to help our breeding birds and other wildlife.

As is well known I do rather like the wild life so it was with glee that I downloaded step by step instructions on how to make my very own birdie box – left it on the head cheeses desk (it is a blue job after all) and now I wait. According to le grand fromage I’m not to hold my breath if I’m expecting him to knock one up – there’s me thinking he was quite good with his hands but not apparently when it involves a hammer. OK, so to the pet shop with the petty cash I go.

tweet tweet

Lets be nice to the newbie

2007-02-07T10:34:00.000Z

A welcome to a new personality (I’m using that term lightly by the way) who seems to have joined the happy and sparkling squad in the office. I say seems to have joined us because she just kind of slid in one day and is still here, sometimes. Oh yes she’s got the ‘part-time’ remit down to a tee and won’t make coffee either because she only drinks ‘water’ – urgggghhhhh, liquid of the devil! It could be my imagination but I’m sure my frown lines are deeper these days, the Head cheese keeps pushing them back up with his index finger – isn’t that harassment?

Anyway all hands together to welcome Matilda.

Why why why

2007-02-02T16:22:00.000Z

A challenger for the title of worst ad in history has got to be the latest from Kia, who apparently have the power to surprise ….. well I wasn’t, just taken aback with the truly awfulness that is their new ‘why when where how’ advert for I think the seeda or seedy, can I say motor car or is that a trading standards issue??? That tells you how diabolical the ad is I’m not sure what why who why where why oh why its for. Catch it like a cold achooo

¿consiguió la vista aún?

2007-02-01T11:11:00.000Z

Obviously contrite for the errors of his ways earlier this week the Head Cheese announced today that on order (for little ole me) is a brand new machine from the cheeky Dell chappies that will have (oh yeah) Vista. Bebé estupendo!!!!

Just had to share that, is feeling quite smug and is not going to let Mr Fromage a la grump have a go.

Hasta la vista? More like hola vista

The Headcheese gets a timeout

2007-01-30T09:39:00.000Z

As blows were nearly exchanged in the office today, all the fault of the head cheese of course and I doubt he'll ever check my work again ........ take umbrage? He nearly got the office plant on his head I was so piqued – anyway after the second pat on my arm accompanied by a well done flashbacks of the infamous piggy v wolfie scrap sprung to mind which I now share with you - enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQokPUt8J8g

And so we wait .... and wait......

2007-01-17T22:15:00.000Z

Have tried to register The Red Works with The UK Web Design Association twice now, three months on and still can’t get hold of anyone to speak / shout to / at – reckon they just ‘stepped outside and may be some time’.
Do they have polar bears in Fareham?

Happy Snaps

2007-01-10T17:00:00.000Z

Loud popping sounds (like an imploding pumpkin, muffled yet startling all the same) could be heard from the head cheeses desk today. No we do not have faulty plumbing what we did have was a really really vexed head cheese.

As is the norm with designers, if you see a photographic image you’d like to use on a web site you ask the photographer first before using it, usually crediting them / putting a link to their site or whatever, have done it loads of times over the years and its never been an issue …..till today.

The head cheese approached this particular photographer type chappie who after four emails still hadn’t actually said either yes or no, just kept replying with random pearls of wisdom regarding how he didn’t live there (Chipping Norton High Street being the photo in question) …. Well, when the fourth email pinged into the head cheeses inbox saying yet more of the same I seriously thought he was going to explode – he did a bit of a Randall (Monsters Inc anyone?) and changed colours. Freaky and yet funny.

I feel I did my bit to calm the situation by laughing my head off – is there such a thing as wisely foolish???

I could sleep for a week

2007-01-08T09:00:00.000Z

Located in the plush Pacific Coastal Rainforest atop Grouse Mountain in North Vancouver, the Refuge for Endangered Wildlife provides a protected natural sanctuary and second chance at life for resident grizzly bears Grinder and Coola and guess what, you can now watch them counting zzzzzzzzzs

Hibernating bear cubs, is there anything more sleep inducing (oh yes there is but I can’t find a web link for it)